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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Are you an Independent-Codependent?

I know a mother with grown children that has claimed that in regards to independence, her children were opposites.  One was what she called an independent-codependent, meaning that that child claimed and truly believed that they were the most independent child in the world, but unconsciously depended on mom and dad more.  The other child was what she called a codependent-independent.  This child claimed that they really didn't think they could make it on their own, but unconsciously really was living more independently.

I think this can describe Christians as well.  We claim we believe in God, have faith in God, study His Word and listen to His voice...

I believe this is one of Satan's strongest, and most unrecognized, lies in our Christian walks.  How much do we as believers depend on others' walks, beliefs, direction, and scripture interpretation for our own relationship with God to feel strong and fulfilled?

This is something that I have been praying about in my own life.  There was a time when I truly believed that I could not know the scriptures deeply unless someone else taught it to me:  bible teacher, scholar, pastor, youth pastor...etc.  But what does God's word say in regards to this?

In Matthew 16, Jesus asked the disciples point blank:  "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" After they give their answer, He asks another, deeper question:  "Who do YOU say that I am?" (emphasis mine).  Peter answers with, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."  Jesus replies, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah!  For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven."  (Matt. 16:13-17)

I believe this is such an important passage...Christ was asking them who they looked to for their answers.  And we are asked that same question...who do we look to for the truth of God's word?

Bible studies, sermons, books, music, all of these are tools that God uses and they are good.  But if we are not getting alone and quiet, with God, His Word, and His voice...we don't have a relationship with HIM.  God can use these tools to grow our relationship with Him, but the livelihood of our relationship with God is weak if we DEPEND on these tools and cannot grow without them.  And remember that, although these studies are good, they are also done by another human being.  Another human being that is not always going to be right.  Just like you and me.

Are you an "independent-codependent", claiming independent faith in God but only reading others' studies of His word?  Or are you digging into His Word and seeking His truths through the voice of Holy Spirit on a regular basis?

"...the gospel that was preached by me is not man's gospel.  For I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ."  Galatians 1:11-12

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

It's been a while.  Long while.  I took some time off during Lent, and prayed about a lot of things in my life.  And started studying Ezekiel.  Wow.  Don't get it.  But one thing really struck me as I was reading...

"And they shall know that I am the Lord.  I have not said in vain that I would do this evil to them."  Ezekiel 6:10, ESV

In this chapter, God is speaking of the destruction He will bring upon the houses of Israel and Judah because of their "whoring".  Yes.  That's the word used in this translation.  The bible says, "I will do with you what I have never yet done, and the like of which I will never do again" (Ez. 5:9).  Sounds terrible, right?  Our loving God, who is slow to anger and quick to forgive, giving His only Son on our behalf so that we have eternity with Him, also brought a destruction so great and terrible I actually shudder when I think of it.  The killing of thousands, even children.  And "cast down the slain before idols (6:4).  And this punishment was said to last almost 400 years!!!!!

Seriously, stop what you are doing and read chapter 5.  It's gruesome.

So then I find myself thinking...as a Christian we are called to show "love" and "grace" to others.  Pointing them to the scriptures that will save them eternally.  How can this picture of God point us to His goodness?!  I began to really read Ez. 6:10 again, "I have not said in VAIN that I would do this evil to them".  Vain.  What does that mean?  So we know the first definition given about vain, "conceit".  But in looking up the definition via my kindle and Dictionary.com, I was intrigued by a different view of the word:  Useless.

"I have not said in (uselessness) that I would do this evil to them."  Wow.  God had a "use" for this discipline of His people.  As He does for us today. Two things I got out of this verse:

1) God does not just render vengeance.  EVERYTHING He does on our behalf is for our good.  Even the sacrifice of His Son.  The bible says more than once that He disciplines those He loves (Heb. 12:6, Prov. 3:12, Rev. 3:19)  He loves us enough that He will do ANYTHING it takes to draw us closer to Him.  Even destruction.  Wow.

2) How do I discipline my children?  Do I discipline them with vengeance because I am angry?  Or am I disciplining them for their good?  I think many times I fail, and am rendering what I feel they "deserve".  What a reminder that God did not hand us what we "deserve"...He gave us His best instead.  And that we exemplify our Father, when we discipline with our children's best in mind.  That doesn't mean the discipline will be easy...but "useful".  Beneficial for the long term.

Oh Lord, guide us parents to Your will and Your way.  Teach us how to teach our children about your love and truths...and guide us to discipline in love, with love, and with a desire to grow them closer to You.  In Jesus' name, amen.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Treadmill Ministry

First guest writer!  I'm excited to share what God has continued to teach me through the guest speaker from Women's Conference, Janet Denison.  This blog comes from her book, Content to be Good, Called to be Godly.  Satan desires us to strive to be "good"...God has called us to something much higher, more filling and less stressful.  I am going to let His words through her book do the talking...

     "We, as Christians, are often busy doing good things for God, taking satisfaction when other people seem pleased or, even better, impressed.  But in the quiet moments, do you wonder why the joy and peace that God has promised is absent from your life?  It is easy to assume that if the church or other Christians are pleased, then God must be pleased as well.
     When these beliefs become ingrained in our minds, we grow perilously close to developing what I have described as a 'treadmill ministry.'  Do you feel like you are running hard but never really seeing the eternal value of your efforts?  Once we get on that treadmill, our service becomes routine and predictable.  We get in that familiar habit of serving a church or a group of people instead of serving the Lord.  It's the same, over and over again-uninspired but conventional.  A Christian can spend untold hours working for others, serving the needs of others time after time.  Usually those requests are well intentioned, for a program that appears to be a good idea.  How do you know if you have been asked to do a good thing or called by God to a service for him?
     For many years I worried that the church would be disappointed or would gossip about me if I didn't show up to almost everything on the schedule.  I was the pastor's wife, and I cared what the congregation thought and said of me.  I wanted their praise and honor.  I wanted what Satan had tempted me to want, and I knew how to get it.  I accepted almost any opportunity for ministry that looked like a good idea.  I was quick to volunteer to teach a class, make a casserole, or decorate a table for a program.  I was consistently reading the Bible to prepare a lesson, rather than spending time with God.  I prayed the opening and closing prayers at programs, but I wasn't having very many conversations with my heavenly Father.  I raced through life, filling it with good things and hoping I would impress God and others.  All the while, Satan was devouring my time and my soul, one bite at a time.  I spend so much time at the church, working with other Christians, that I rarely came in contact with someone outside the faith.  I was running on the spiritual treadmill, and Satan was pleased because I was in the church, running in place.
     Meanwhile God was saying, 'Humble yourself.  You only think you know what you should do.  Let me fill you with my mighty power because you are not strong enough on your own.  Work for my honor, not other people's opinions.  Trust me to handle the worries and concerns.  Don't you realize how much I care about you?  Watch out! Satan wants to devour your time and your soul.  Stand with me against the temptation to do what you or others think will be good.  I will call you to your ministries, and your strength and guidance will come from trusting me.  Stand firm in your faith, and I will fight the roaring lion for you.'
     You can be sure that Satan is hard at work, tempting God's children to be content with a life and ministry consisting of the good things that we design for ourselves.  We are only a threat to him when we answer God's call to service, dedicated to the advancement of God's Kingdom and glory.  Satan doesn't mind if people think you are good.  He doesn't mind if you fill your time doing good things.  In fact, the devil will try to tempt you to do exactly that.  The 'good person' is not the one who annoys the devil-the godly Christian poses the threat.  Satan will tempt you to be good because he fears you will be godly.
     Have you been tempted, as I was, to be content with a good Christian life?  Are you spending your time trying to please others, or do you seek the blessing of God's approval?  Do you grasp that God has called you to a higher standard?  Oswald Chambers wrote, 'It is not lack of spiritual experience that leads to failure, but a lack of working to keep our eyes focused and on the right goal....Is my primary goal in life to please Him and to be acceptable to Him, or is it something less, no matter how lofty it may sound?'  (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, March 17).
     Treadmill ministry will force you to run until you are tired and can go no further.  Treadmill ministry will keep you in one place, secluded from the larger world.  Treadmill ministry is our programmed effort, not a Spirit-led journey.  The most dangerous consequence of a treadmill ministry is that the only person affected is the one doing the running.  Is your primary goal to please God or is it to complete programs of service designed by others?  There is a higher call...
     Take a moment and consider the week before you.  What does your schedule look like?  How will God be glorified and the Kingdom affected by your plans?  Is your week full of good things or God things?  Do you need to step off the treadmill in order to walk with God?  Here are some things to think about:

     What usually motivates you to accept a ministry opportunity?

     In what ways might the devil be tempting you to serve God for the wrong reasons?"

                                                 -Janet Denison, Content to be Good, Called to be Godly, pgs. 11-14, 18

Janet Denison is a speaker and teacher at Park Cities Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas.  She writes and blogs weekly.  Here is a link to her blog as well as her book if you are interested:

http://www.janetdenison.com/blog

http://www.amazon.com/CONTENT-BE-GOOD-CALLED-GODLY/dp/1414316151
   

Monday, March 3, 2014

From The Dirt's Perspective

    

 So the other day my mop head broke.  I kept thinking I would buy a new one but whenever I was out shopping I would forget.  Been there?  Anyway, my floor became so terrible, I couldn't take it anymore.  I got out the 'ole mop bucket and a rag, and began scrubbing the floor Cinderella style.  Yep.  Fun times.
     As I was "mopping" the floor, I began to look around me.  I was now on a lower level with the cabinets and doors.  I knew they needed to be wiped down, but being down on that level with the advantage of a closer look, I saw more dirt than I had while standing.  I began to wipe down the doors and cabinets as I cleaned the floor as well.  Took me a while, but wow what a difference.  The kitchen as a whole just looked cleaner...because I had reached those seemingly out of sight spots and smears that I hadn't really taken notice of until I was down on my hands and knees.
    I began to really ponder this in my own life.  How many times have I "looked down" on someone, thinking I see the whole picture, when in truth if I would just humble myself and meet them at their level, not only would my vision be much clearer, I am more available to help them with those spots and smears life can hand us all.  Haven't we all been there?
     What a beautiful example Christ set for us on this very topic:

"Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness."   -Philippians 2:6-7 NIV

   What a beautiful picture.  Christ left his comfy, wonderful, beautiful eternity to meet us at our level.  And not only that, he took on our spots and smears:  "He humbled himself by becoming obedient to death-even death on a cross!" -Philippians 2:8

     So what does this look like for us?  We are given the answer in Philippians 2:5, the verse that directly precedes the above description of what Christ did for us:

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: "

     Ladies, did you know that the #1 disease in women is depression because of lonliness?  LONLINESS!  What a simple fix...and yet, so difficult.  Could it be that we are not getting down on each other's levels enough?  I think it could be a good possibility.  We are so quick to judge each other, our decisions, our walks of life, our interests, clothes, diets, children, husbands, denominations, and personal challenges that instead of choosing understanding and compassion, we choose to "stand above".  WE have something to TEACH the one who doesn't know as much as we do, right?!
     No ladies!!!  CHRIST has someone to REACH through us.  If we can get our "know it all" selves out of the way, Christ can use us to lead someone ever closer to HIM, HIS comfort, HIS wisdom, HIS compassion and forgiveness.  Just as Christ gave up His rights and became a servant of all, likewise we should also give up our perceived rights to be "right" and, just maybe, try loving instead.  Let us "carry one another's burdens and fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
     A challenge this week:   Get down on your hands and knees with someone this week.  Fervently pray for compassion, wisdom, discernment, understanding and love to guide us and our relationships.  And maybe be willing to throw the mop bucket of dirty water filled with judgment and criticism down the drain.
 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Envelop and Empower


Oh sweet ladies.  As I have been praying, I have been thinking of all the women in my life.  Women God Himself has brought into my life.  How we are all different.  Different ideas, different opinions, different beliefs...but do you know what we ALL have 100% in common?  We are women in need of support from other women.  Period.

Can I make a confession?  I am super judgmental.  Seriously.  I find myself looking at other women, and how they do things, or don't do things, and think to myself: "Wow.  That's dumb.  They shouldn't do it that way.  Man, too bad they don't know MY way-the better way!"  etc, etc, etc.  

Example:  I recently had a friend tell me that she went to a MOPS meeting and one of the moms sitting at the table began to pour out her challenges to the rest of the group.  When she got up and walked away, the response from the other moms was, "What was that about?" along with the silent judgment (ladies, you know what I am talking about!!).  This woman was in desperate need of compassion and maybe a hug or two...what she got was worse than a slap in the face.  And my friend, in turn, also learned that she was not in a place to receive the comfort she was needing also.  Ladies, we can do better than this!!!!!

Well, here it is plane and simple:  God has slowly been bringing me to a new place.  As I have struggled this last year with a circle of friends God called to move on to other areas, Post Partum Depression (more about that in another blog), and finding my "niche" in our church and it's ministries, God has laid a burden on my heart.  To encourage women and in turn, empower them to encourage other women.  We need a WAVE of love, encouragement, and empowerment.  We ALL have something to offer other women.

This is what my new blog will be about.  Our stories.  ALL stories.  Whether you had a near death experience, or just God's voice bringing you comfort when that third bowl of mac-n-cheese hit the floor and you thought you couldn't take one more thing, we all need your stories and encouragement.

Let us break down the judgmental barriers...whether you have kids or don't have kids, you are a homeschool mom or public school mom, you breast feed or formula feed, you cook from scratch or order out, you eat organic or buy Bar-S, you clean your house or hire out, you have boys or girls, or both, you are single or married, you are older or younger...we can all be united for the same purpose:  To envelop one another in love, and empower each other, each and every day, on this journey through life and it's challenges.  As a beautiful mom friend of mine put it one day while I was preparing her and her children a non-organic lunch :

"I am on a journey, but I don't expect anyone else to follow it."  -Camden Carr-Bearden

This is a beautiful example of what I believe our goals need to be, that our desire to have loving and empowering relationships exceeds our need to be right.

"Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it. "  - Eph. 4:29 AMP

Dare I also add our thought life?  Here is my challenge to myself and all of you:  that we begin to confront and seriously pray over the judgmental barriers that cause disunity.

We are one in the bond of love
We are one in the bond of love
We have joined our spirit with the Spirit of God
We are one in the bond of love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo6TKRofdLE




Thursday, November 21, 2013

Are you THAT desperate?

"And behold, a woman who had suffered...came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garments, for she said to herself, 'If I only touch his garments, I will be made well.'  Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, 'Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.' "   -Matthew 9:20-22

A woman.  A woman who was desperate for healing.  An outcast.  The implication is that she had no husband.  Widow?  Or abandoned because of her years of being considered unclean?  What we do know is that she was alone.  And the culture of that day would have pinned her as unclean, untouchable...and certainly to touch a Rabbi in this state was a very severe sin.  She knew this, but she was THAT desperate.  Perhaps that is why she sneaked up behind Him in a crowd.  She wanted to be unnoticed.  She didn't want a scene.  Just healing.

She was seeking physical healing.  He gave her more.

The crowds were pressing in on Him...yet He felt the power leave His body.  And He stopped to give more.  He had compassion and love.  Where society would see her as a lowly woman, low as a dog...He turns to her and calls her "daughter".

This has really touched my heart this week.  We all have our journey that we are on.

This brought me comfort this week.  I can't even remember the last time I asked God to wrap His arms around me.  And He has.  Satan has continuously whispered "failure" in my ear...but God has been speaking "daughter" to my heart.  I am so thankful for this woman of the bible.  She took a huge risk, and through it, women all throughout history have the certainty that He cares.  He cares and even stops in the midst of the busyness of this world, to put the spotlight on us, to call us "daughter", and to heal us.  He longs for us to just reach for the fringe of His garment...and He will turn and embrace all that we are with all that He is.  The whole world can be pressing against Him for their needs, and He has the power to take care of them, and still take one on one time with us.  Oh how Omnipotent He is!!!!



Friday, November 5, 2010

Passion for God's Word Challenge: Disciplines 9 and 10

This is my last day of posting these disciplines.  I hope they have encouraged you as they have me!  May God bless all of your days!

"9.  Purpose to get up.  For most of us there's only one way to enjoy time,  first time, and early time with God, and that's to set the alarm.  Surely, any woman with any passion for anything makes sure she gets up to enjoy that passion!  Save your sleeping-in for special days or for a reward for strenuous work finally finished.  (Even then your burning passion may not allow you to sleep in!)

10.  Aim for more time.  Two good principles for determining the amount of time you spend reading your Bible are:  Something is better than nothing and Always aim for more.  
     I can guarantee you that once you dicipline yourself to meet regularly with God for some time, you'll become like David in Psalm 63- you'll hunger and thirst for more time with the Lord.  Truly His Word is sweeter than honey and the honeycomb (Psalm 19:10).
     And here's another principle from Donna, the brave woman who took me on as a disciple.  Donna shared with me that she did not allow herself to spend more time in any personal activity (she specifically mentioned exercising and crafts) each day than she spent in the Word of God.  Of course, as she discipled me, that principle was passed on to me and became a part of my life, too.  And now it's my turn to pass it on to you!
     Which brings us to Susanna Wesley, the mother of John Wesley, who wrote, 

I will tell you what rule I observed...when I was young, and too much addicted to childish diversions, which was this-Never to spend more time in mere recreation in one day than I spend in private religious devotions.

     I must warn you, if you get serious about this discipline, it will change your life-your schedule, your priorities, your focus, your perspective, and your interests.  Beware...the ground is rumbling.
     And how would such a discipline work for a woman who spends the bulk of her day at a job?  Well, I would say that such a woman dare not go out into the world without spiritual preparation (and the more the better!).  And even if she is going to work in a Christian organization, her work-anywhere and everywhere and in all things-is done unto the Lord.  The goal is always to do our work-whether in a busy home or in a busy office or at the church-God's way and in His power.  And that, beloved, requires spending time with Him.  Time looking to Him.  Time in prayer.  Time in the Word.  Lots of time!  We simply must manage our busy days to ensure the discipline of time, time, and more time in these basic spiritual pursuits.  For truly, they are at the heart of it all, at the heart of discovering and living out God's plan with passion and purpose. "
                -Life Management for Busy Women,  by Elizabeth George, pg. 29-30.